💥 THIS MESSAGE HAS SELF-DESTRUCTED.

…just kidding. Agents of this caliber are never destroyed.
/// EYES ONLY /// CLEARANCE: OMEGA-BLACK /// SUBJECT: AGENT WES /// STATUS: LEGENDARY /// DO NOT DUPLICATE /// THIS FILE WILL NOT SELF-DESTRUCT BECAUSE IT IS TOO AWESOME ///
MI-FAMILY · FILE NO. 007-W

AGENT WES

CLASSIFIED PERSONNEL DOSSIER
FILE 01 // MISSION BRIEFING
TOP SECRET

MISSION BRIEFING

Good evening, Agent. This dossier was compiled by a covert network of AI operatives (codenames MoneyPenny, Q, and a deeply reformed SPECTRE) at the direct request of .

Our analysts have spent countless hours reviewing the intelligence. Their conclusion was unanimous and frankly a little emotional: the subject is one of the good ones.

[Tap the black bars to declassify.]

FILE 02 // AGENT PROFILE
CLEARED

AGENT PROFILE

Name
Codename
Clearance
OMEGA-BLACK
Status
LEGENDARY
Role
Stepdad. Mentor. Elite operative of the highest order.
Threat level
Zero to friends. Considerable to bad dad jokes.
Cool Under Pressure
Wisdom Reserves
Reliability When It Counts
Grill / Kitchen Ops (unverified)
★ FAMILY GUARDIAN★ ADVICE ON DEMAND★ LICENSED TO CHILL
FILE 03 // FIELD INTEL

KNOWN INTELLIGENCE

Further intel pending declassification by HQ.

FILE 04 // SURVEILLANCE ARCHIVE
VERIFIED

FIELD OPERATIONS: SURVEILLANCE ARCHIVE

Recovered field photographs. Source: Barb (partner in crime, chief photographer).

Operation Cancun01·2008
OPERATION CANCUNAgent Wes with his partner in crime, Barb. Cancun.
Credit: Barb, Partner in Crime.
Operation Wet Bar2009
OPERATION WET BARWes & Barb hold the wet bar. Dominican Republic.
Operation Deep Blue2009
OPERATION DEEP BLUESubject swims with sharks. DR.
Shark Tank Infiltration2009
SHARK TANK INFILTRATIONUnderwater in the shark tank. DR.
Asset Recovered2009
ASSET RECOVEREDOne (1) queen conch secured. DR.
Operation Ping Pong2009
OPERATION PING PONGSignature move deployed vs. Todd. DR.
Stakeout: Ritz Lounge2008
STAKEOUT: RITZ LOUNGEKnown weakness confirmed. Jamaica.
FILE 05 // STANDING ORDERS
APPROVED

CURRENT OBJECTIVES

  1. Continue being an outstanding human being. (Ongoing. Exceeding targets.)
  2. Accept this dossier as a token of respect from HQ.
  3. Be aware: you now have AI operatives on retainer through your handler.
  4. Relax. That is an order.
Signed, with admiration,

Handler, on behalf of MoneyPenny, Q & Co.